I am NOT against CIO. I am, however, against CIO before 6 months of age. Again, this comes with the territory of being a parent. Babies CRY! Having an infant CIO before 6 months of age is just cruel and down right mean. It’s wrong. They NEED to feel you, the need your love and attention. They need that connection and to feel safe and secure with you. Do you think letting a baby cry until she fell asleep would give that sense of safety to her?! NO!!!!!!!

And IF/when you do start. You need to start slow. Putting him in his crib and turning off the monitor until he falls asleep is just fla tout neglect in my opinion. You DON’T do that. You start out timing…maybe CIO for 2 minutes then go in and calm her down and leave again, CIO another 2 min and go back in and calm her down again. After a few times of that up the minutes..slowly. Let him CIO for 5 minutes and then go in and calm him down, then let him CIO for 10 min and then go in and calm him down and leave again. You see the pattern> YOU ALWAYS COME BACK. That’s their sense of safety and security even though you’re still teaching them to sleep on their own. I personally do not feel like any CIO should go over 20 minutes and that is a STRETCH. I would normally say 15 minutes but I know there are some babies out there who really need that extra 5 minutes to fall asleep on their own.

Just remember, put yourself in your baby’s shoes. How would YOU feel?

Why do moms do this? Why do NEW moms do this? They get the idea from somewhere right? WHO in their right mind tells a mom to do this? This is a big pet-peeve of mine. UNLESS a pediatrician specifically tells you for medical reasons to do this…which is usually only for gaining weight or SEVERE reflux…PLEASE DON’T!

Infants digestive systmes are not ready for solid foods until 4 months of age and now they actually say closer to 6 months. Cereal…whether in a bottle or on a spoon is SOLID FOOD! If your baby isn’t at least 4 months old, doesn’t have a problem gaining weight or doesn’t have SEVERE (not mild but severe) reflux or another “medical” condition for a reason then WHY are you doing it?

The biggest reason I’ve heard is for sleep. This is where my pet-peeve really plays a role. That is such a part of the territory people. Seriously! Everyone knows you don’t get to sleep once you become a mom! EVERYONE! To put something unnecessarily in your baby’s bottle so YOU can sleep is just wrong. And it doesn’t even work! So you could be harming your child’s digestive track for nothing…not that you getting sleep is a good enough reason to begin with.

Bottom line is the only thing that belongs in a bottle is formula, breast milk or water! No…not even juice and for heaven’s sake NOT soda!

Thank you…rant over.

Why is it almost every decent paying and even non-decent paying job now you need to have a Bachelors. Except that’s not even enough! The education and knowledge of how to do the job doesn’t get you anywhere. Now you need EXPERIENCE too. What an awful circle that you can never get out of! How are you suppose to gain experience in order to get these jobs if no one will give you the chance to ge that expereince. And it’s not even 1 year experience. Now it’s 3-5 years experience. How are college graduates to get this experience? Internships don’t even work anymore b/c they’re only a few months long and that isn’t enough “experience” for these employers.

Why not do probationary periods and give someone a shot! They may just surprise you. Experience can be so over-rated. How about trying someone out who has the passion and drive to succeed and LEARN. Why not mold these individuals to match your own way of doing business. They may not have experience but that doesn’t always need to be a negative aspect. Without experience there are no “i’m use to this way” or “that’s not how I’m use to doing it”. No experience means you show them once and they do it….YOUR WAY, but still have the education and knowledge to make it their own and update procedures and policies if needed.

This economy sucks enough as it is. So recruiters!!!!! Try giving those people who actually need a chance a shot…you might be pleasantly surprised!

Why is it so easy to give up on marriage? Why do more than half the marriages in the US end in divorce? Do people not try hard enough? Do they not take marriage vows seriously? When did the marriage and all that goes with it become a joke?

I personally don’t think people try hard enough these days to succeed at marriage. It’s a job…just like any other. It isn’t a game or just dating where you can break up and go along with your merry lives, especially if children are involved. To me there are only two valid reasons to divorce. One is abuse.

Abuse…either way you look it. Abuse from the husband to wife or the wife to husband. Physical Abuse or Verbal Abuse. However, I do believe that if the abusing party realizes the mistakes and is able and willing to go to counseling and change and be active in marriage counseling as well then there might be a chance. But abuse is one that if the abused party didn’t want to go forward one really can’t blame them. On a side note, I don’t think your husband calling you a “bitch” in the heat of the moment is verbal abuse….unless it’s a common habit. Should you accept that languag? Of course not but to run to the lawerys office over that is a bit extreme.

My second reasoning would be endangerment to my family. If I thought myself or my children were in danger due to my husband then that would warrant a divorce. Again, depending on the circumstance, if the spouse was able and willing to 100% go to anger management, therapy, rehab, counseling, marriage counseling,etc. Whatever it took to change then divorce may not have to be the final decision. However, like before this would be one that you could not blame that person for requesting a divorce.

I think it’s very sad when people just “fall out of love”. You let that happen. If you fell out of love that was a choice you made. You didn’t nurture your relationship, you didn’t grow together like you promised each other to do. You failed and grew apart.

So how do you know if your child has colic?

Most likely your baby does if you can say yes to the Rules of 3s:

1. Did it begin within the first 3 weeks of life?

2. Does your baby cry at least 3 nights a week or more?

3. When your baby cries, is it for at least 3 hours at a time or longer?

4.  Has the crying lasted for at least 3 weeks or more?

If you have exhausted all other possibilities and answered yes to all the above questions then more than likely your baby is suffering from colic.

From one colic suffering mom to another, I’m sorry.

Life of a Mom with Kids Close in Age

Every wonder what it would feel like to have twins? I would have loved to have twins. I think it would have been easier than having two children 14 months apart. With twins they would be on the same schedule. They would most likely sleep at the same time, eat at the same time, play and grow on the same path, with the same toys. Try having two children so young and so close in age that they both depend on you for everything, yet NOT twins and on complete different schedules. Welcome to my world.

I first found out I was pregnant with my second daughter when my first was only 5 months old. That’s right. It was only the second time my husband and I had even had sex since her birth. Imagine having a 5 month old infant in your arms while starring at a positive pregnancy test. Shocked and overwhelmed was my first reaction. Once I passed the first stage I had to tell my husband. Who was even more intrigued as to how it happened…literally I had to explain it to him.

Once over the initial shock we were happy to be pregnant. Although, I was so focused on my baby, I mean I was after all still a brand new mom, that the pregnancy just flew by and before I knew it I had a 12 month old little baby girl and was about to give birth to my second. Panic set in. How was I suppose to carry two babies around? If they were both newborns I may have been able to handle it but having a toddler not walking yet and a newborn unable to lift her head I was at a lost. So I started to shop for any product that was available for moms who had children 12-15 months apart. Come to find out…there aren’t many of us out there! I began to worry and really work with my daughter on walking. I NEEDED her to walk before my second baby came. But even if she did start walking was that really going to help? A 14 month old walking is still so young and clumsy. I couldn’t count on that. Then my mind started to race…….How would I go grocery shopping? I would normally put the newborn in the seat while still in her carrier…but then where would my 14 month old go? In the cart? Where would the groceries go? And doctor’s visits! Newborns go to the doctor so often. Was I suppose to drag them both with me each time? I mean I took my oldest to the OB visits with my legs all up in the air. I guess I could, but then I would spend all the time in there. Between two kids so young I would never leave! Can they make appointments for multiple kid families at the same time?

After those apprehensions faded away I saw a whole new set come on. I’m getting the nursery ready for our new arrival and as I take the crib away from the 13 month old and try to transition her into a toddler bed I realize, a crib isn’t the only thing they BOTH would/should have or need. I’m going to have two in diapers! But can I go to the store and buy one huge box? Can I order them through wholesale like I would have probably done with twins. Nope….I will have two kids in diapers in two different sizes! I’ll have one on a bottle and one on my boob! And what about that! How do I explain to a child that young about breastfeeding? How do I explain to a child that young anything about being a sister! With twins that’s all you know. When you’re an older toddler you can understand a little more. There is no “explaining” to a 14 month old infant. Just isn’t going to happen.

So I buckled down and learned what I was going to have to do so I was more prepared. I drove around my town and found out every grocery store that had “new mother and young children” parking. I found every grocery store that had carts made for 2 or more kids. I bought a baby sling to give me more freedom. I bought my daughter a baby and showed her how mommy would feed her with her breasts. I bought a van with automatic doors so when I was carrying two children I didn’t need to worry about having a 3^rd hand to open the doors. I switched pediatricians to someone who was willing and excited to work with me about having two so young. I finally thought to myself, I can do this and I did.

My second daughter was born and I was prepared. Well I thought I was. Once she was here a whole new set of problems presented themselves…..but that’s a whole other story.

Colic and How I Survived

What is Colic? Does my child have it? What has caused it? Did I do something? All these questions can run through a moms head when her child begins to scream uncontrollably.It did mine. I was 25 and a new mom to a beautiful healthy baby girl, who became a nightmare. This is my story and how I survived.

My husband, Greg, and I got pregnant with my daughter in January of 2005. We were ecstatic after already having one miscarriage the year before. I got every symptom in the book of pregnancy you could get, from morning sickness to a full body rash throughout my whole pregnancy. I should have taken that as a sign, but I continued to glow. This was our happy time. I use to joke with friends that with my luck my baby will have colic, I had no idea what or how bad colic could even be but boy did I find out.

After nearly 42 weeks of pregnancy, 13 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing our bundle of joy arrived. The next day we took her home excited to start our new life together as a family. That excitement didn’t last long. From the beginning she was a “fussy” baby. That’s no cause for concern. All babies are fussy, right? I thought to myself, “she’s just being a baby”, “I knew this was coming”, “maybe it’s me?”; “maybe I’m missing something?” After about two weeks of doctor visits and trying everything I knew, her screams became louder and longer and harder I was told my precious three week old baby had colic! “Yay”, I thought, “it has a name!” Something can be done….I was wrong.

I began to dread the days when I woke up because I knew how they would end. I was physically unable to work because I was so sleep deprived. In my specific situation my daughter would sleep during the day, I loved when she slept; she seemed so peaceful and sweet. However, when she was awake during the daylight hours she cried and whined all day. That I could deal with! But come around ten in the evening her fussiness got worse and turned into full blown hysterics. Nothing anyone did could calm her down. She would literally scream uncontrollably for 8 hours a night. My husband, of course, would be sleeping because he had to work the next day so I would take her and go to the opposite side of the house and cry with her all night long. There was no one to help. Who would want to watch a screaming baby? I couldn’t even get a babysitter.

I specifically remember my worst night ever. That night started early, too early. My daughter started to cry around eight that night and I remember thinking to myself, “No way, not yet, oh God please not yet”. So we danced and I sang and sang and we rocked and hummed and skipped. I bounced her and drove her around. I used the washing machine, the swing, the bouncy chair, I used anything and everything I had and not one thing worked. Six hours into her episode I was drained. I emotionally could not take it any longer. I wanted to quit, but at two in the morning I didn’t have much choice. A few hours later I broke down and I picked up the phone and called my sister five states away. It must’ve been four or five in the morning by then and I woke her early before she left for work. Her already being a mom of two I just knew my big sister could help. Although, she couldn’t physically come help me or even help the colic she did help me calm down and made me wake up my husband since it was now almost six o’clock in the morning. Not the best way to wake up to a screaming baby but I’m sure he’s glad he at least got to sleep at all. I handed her over and passed out within seconds. He later told me she continued screaming for another hour. A little over ten hours straight she screamed and cried and kicked and arched her back. I will never forget that night but am so thankful my daughter has.

That night was my turning point. I decided I was going to take as much control as possible over this “colic” my daughter was suffering from. So I read books after books, joined mom support groups, bought DVDs, spoke to pediatricians and spent as much time as I could spare studying and researching.

NO ONE knows what a mom goes through with colic except for another colic suffered mother. These are my help notes, from one colic mom to the next. I wish I had known some of these when I thought my family just had to suffer through until she outgrew it. Which, by the way, she did; my daughter is now 2.5 years old, a big sister and smiles and giggles and is full of happiness and gives me joy day after day. I am lucky to be her mom and to have her, even if she was a colicky baby.

Helpful Tips:

· Take 10! (Take ten minutes to yourself when it gets rough. Put her in her crib and walk away. Ten minutes will not hurt her and she’s going to cry whether you are there or not. So take a breather, calm your nerves, and start again).

· Swaddle (Swaddling is your friend! It will help your baby sleep better and longer).

· Noise (Try any kind of white noise. A hairdryer, a vacuum, static from a radio, a fan, the vent in a bathroom, or invest in a white noise/wind machine).

· Pump/Bicycle Legs (Bend the knees up to the tummy together, and then switch them out by bending one leg while the other leg is straight).

· Showers (That’s right, not a bath a shower. The water pressure from the shower head on the tummy seems to help).

· GRIPE WATER (This was my lifesaver. If you make any investment it needs to be in Gripe Water! There are different kinds of Gripe Water and Europe produces one that contains alcohol – DO NOT buy that one. Make sure it is made in the USA because ours does not contain alcohol).

Recommended/Helpful Links:

1. The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD and/or Book by Dr. Harvey Karp -

http://www.amazon.com/Happiest-Baby-Block-Crying-

Longer/dp/B0006J021C/ref=sr_1_1/002-7382832-

4158419?ie=UTF8&s=dvd&qid=1186708237&sr=8-1

2. Baby Bliss Gripe Water – http://www.amazon.com/Babys-Bliss-Gripe-

Water-oz/dp/B0001AFK1S/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-7382832-

4158419?ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1186708275&sr=8-2

3. White Noise/Wind Machine – http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-White-

Machine-Screen-Conditioner/dp/B000BQYP1S/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2/002-

7382832-4158419?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1186708332&sr=8-2